Well, we’re back after a rather eventful Easter weekend. Hope you all had a great time, ate lots of food and spent some quality time with your families. I was in L’viv with some of the other teachers, and had quite an adventure…


NEWS

Don’t forget that this weekend is Music Club. Marcin is dying for you all to go there and heckle him during his performance. It’s at the Café Cynamon, on Zwycięstwa on Saturday 29th, at 7pm. Ask Marcin for further information about tickets (even though he said not to ask him, he knows more than I do about it!)

That’s about it on the news front. We’re all slowly getting back into the swing of things. Normal service will resume shortly!


FUNNY POEM…

I found this poem online. It’s quite appropriate for Polish classrooms!

“I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED” by Bruce Lansky

I didn’t study for the test
and now I’m feeling blue.
I copied off your paper
and I flunked it just like you.


WORD OF THE DAY

“FLUNK” – this means to fail, i.e. to get below 60% in your Callan tests!



The Adventures of Bobby Callan – Part Twenty Four

Bobby and Miss Callan walked down a random street in a random city.
“Bobby, what is the capital of Malta?” Miss Brown asked.
“I haven’t the foggiest. I’ve never been to Malta before,” Bobby replied.
“Well, for your information it is Valletta, and happens to be this random city we are in,” Miss Brown said.
“That’s all well and good Miss Brown, but do you really know where we are?”
“Not the slightest,” Miss Brown laughed. “So when you get lost in a large city, who do you ask?”
“Usually the first person I meet. It’s easier that way” Bobby said.
“What is the first thing you notice when you meet people for the first time?”
“Well, er…” Bobby’s voice trailed off. He was looking straight ahead. Miss Brown looked puzzled. A robotic sound pierced the air. Bobby walked over to the source of the sound. It was an android.

“I AM MARSHALL, THE DURACELL ANDROID” it stated monosyllabically. Miss Brown noted the author’s addition of ‘-ly’ to an adjective to form its adverb, and questioned in her own mind the legitimacy of this particular example, and also how she managed to notice it. She smiled.
“Er, hello… I’m Bobby Callan. We are lost, would you be so kind as to help us?”
“CERTAINLY. I HAVE BEEN SENT HERE BY THE ALMIGHTY DURACELL CORPORATION TO PROMOTE ITS AMAZING LONG LIFE BATTERIES. HOWEVER, I AM DUE A BREAK SO I HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH HELPING.”
“Ok, great, thanks. We have come to Malta and had our magic atlas stolen. Members of the general public did nothing, as expected. We must get it back!”
“SO I’VE HEARD. I KNOW OF YOUR PLIGHT, BOBBY CALLAN, AND I CAN LEAD YOU TO THE NEXT CLUE.” Bobby noted the android’s use of so when someone says something he already knows.
“Oh, you do eh? How is that?”
“I HAVE SEEN THE DISTANT FUTURE. IN FACT, I AM FROM THE DISTANT FUTURE” Miss Brown noted the use of the word distant before a noun, instead of the word far.
“If I could see into the distant future, I’d like to see myself rid of this quest for Mr Callan.”
“DO NOT WORRY, IT WILL BE OVER EVENTUALLY.”
“Yeah, but we use eventually for something that will happen in the future but don’t know when. That is not comforting, it could be years!”
“AS I SAID, I HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE.”

Bobby and Miss Brown were walking along a street full of bars when a man staggered out of one which looked like a 70’s theme bar. He even had an afro wig on. He was extremely drunk.
“Excuse me, hadn’t you better drink less if you don’t want to get drunk?” Bobby asked. The man gave him a look that could only be described as angry. He stumbled over to Bobby and swung a fist at him.
“Bobby, why is it some people want to fight the moment they get drunk?” Miss Brown asked.
“I’m not sure. Callan says it’s because some people lose all moral sense and that the little animal that is deep down inside rises to the top and wants to fight, as is the nature of all animals”.
“How ridiculous,” Miss Brown said.
“Quite. And I have no intention of hanging around for him to hit me!” They ran.