‘London pub very nice!’ says Borat
Music Club was on Saturday. Jeff Shiffman and company played their usual mix of bluegrass and jazz. Quite a lot of people showed up. Borat wasn’t there, but if he had been there I’m sure he would have enjoyed it too.


Joke of the day
What beer do lions drink?
Hyena-ken.

Marshall’s Tai-Chi Club is this Saturday at 12pm. Sign up with the secretaries if you want to go. Look out for David’s lecture on the Vikings next week – see posters around school for more details.

Word of the day: dreary
adjective (drearier, dreariest).

1. causing sadness or gloom.
2. dull; boring.
3. sorrowful; sad.

e.g. It is a dreary day today.


A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached into your right pocket and found a penny, and you reached into your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?"
"Somebody else's trousers," the boy replied.

Teacher: Tim, you missed school yesterday, didn't you?
Tim: Not a bit!

Teacher: How do you spell "dog"?
Pupil: d, o, g, enter.

http://www.workjoke.com/projoke80.htm


The Adventures of Bobby Callan #19

Bobby, Miss Brown, Jarkko the Finn, and the talking lion were making their way through the forest to meet Santa Claus. Bobby was impressed by the lion’s use of English; his pronunciation was excellent and he also knew lots of big words like “superfluous” and “exhilarating”, words which even Bobby didn’t know.
‘What does “superfluous” mean?’ Miss Brown asked the lion.
‘Unnecessary,’ the lion replied; ‘for example, light clothes are superfluous in Lapland as it is extremely cold.’
‘What had we better do in order to avoid catching a cold in Lapland?’ Bobby asked, smiling.
‘We had better wear warm clothes,’ the lion said.
Jarkko had been drinking vodka from a small bottle and was starting to walk in a crooked line.
‘Hadn’t one better drink less if one doesn’t want to get drunk?’ the lion asked him.
Jarkko mumbled something in Finnish that brought a mild look of surprise to the lion’s face. Bobby did not fully understand what he had said but he knew that Jarkko had made an unpleasant remark about the lion’s mother, which is widely considered to be the best way to insult someone.
‘Impudent fool!’ the lion roared.
Jarkko’s eyes opened wide and his body began to shake, as this is what usually happens when somebody feels very afraid.
Bobby felt like he had been walking for days when they finally reached a clearing in the forest. There was a small house, a cottage one might say, with smoke rising from the chimney and reindeer tied to a wooden post outside.
‘Is this where Santa lives?’ Miss Brown enquired excitedly.
‘Yes,’ said the lion; ‘follow me.’
The lion walked up to the front door and let out a mighty roar which echoed around the forest and sent birds flying in fright. A small, fat, bearded man wearing a red jacket appeared at the door.
‘Ho ho ho,’ the man said; ‘I’m Santa, also known as Saint Nicholas, the man who breaks into your house once a year to leave presents.’
‘Yes, a bit like a burglar; but instead of taking things you leave things,’ Bobby said. The others looked at Bobby disapprovingly.
‘Please excuse my friend,’ the lion said to Santa; ‘he hasn’t been educated in the correct use of manners.’
‘Ho ho ho, nevermind,’ Santa replied and welcomed them all inside.
The cottage was nicely decorated with lots of space-saving furniture courtesy of Ikea, and a forty-two inch plasma screen TV hanging on the wall. Whilst they were eating nuts and drinking herbal tea, Bobby told Santa of his mission to find Robin Callan.
‘Yes, I have heard of this man Robin Callan,’ Santa said leaning back in his rocking chair. ‘I cannot tell you where he is, but I can give you something that might help you find him.’
Santa gave Bobby a book wrapped in brown paper; it was an atlas.