This week’s edition by: David

Welcome to another edition of the Speedo Newsletter. There isn’t a lot happening in the school this week, but I have news of two clubs and a party to tell you about. We also have news of a birthday and the latest episode of “The Adventures of Bobby Callan”. Read on and enjoy!

First up is news of this month’s Cinema Club with Chris and myself. This takes place on Saturday 15th, and this month’s film is called “The Heartbreak Kid”. It is a comedy with Ben Stiller, so if you would like to see it, sign up with the secretaries and meet us at Cinema City at 5pm.

The second club is Snooker Club, with Ryan and Tom. This is next Wednesday, the 20th, at 9.30pm. If you would like to take part in the Snooker or Pool World Championships, sign up with the secretaries!

Also this week is the yearly Kids Party, with myself and Bob. This is also on Saturday 15th, from 12.45pm until 2.15pm. However, places are limited to 20, so if you would like to come or your child would like to come, sign up with the secretaries right now! There will be fun and games, and is an opportunity for all you parent who need to do Christmas shopping to do so without the kids!

This week sees the birthday of one of our teachers, Ryan. This is on Saturday, so if you see him, wish him many happy returns of the day!

Joke:
Q: What is Santa Claus’ first language?
A: North Polish!(this joke came from Caroline, a teacher some of you may remember from last year….)

The Adventures Of Bobby Callan – Part Eleven


Bobby and Miss Brown stepped off the plane at Bangkok International Airport. This time, it was not moving, so Bobby did no further damage to his ankle. The followed the crowd of people into the main terminal. It was terribly busy.
“Bobby, do you like being in a crowd?” Miss Brown asked?
“No, I don’t.” Bobby was not in a very good mood. They stood in line at Customs, where the customs officer glared at Bobby.
“What do you have in your bag?” he asked Miss Brown.
“Well, where do I start? I have cosmetics, ‘lady products’, my toothbrush…”
“That’s quite enough Miss. I will see as it passes through X-ray.”

They moved on, and collected their suitcases. Bobby led the way as he seemed to be in a hurry. He headed for the main doors of the airport, which were open. Miss Brown trailed behind. Bobby stepped outside, and immediately was rugby-tackled by two rather large men.
“Why on earth did you do that?!” Bobby cried. A short man stood over him.
“I’m sorry sir, but you walked through an open doorway in front of a woman” he said. Bobby’s head hurt. He was furious.
“In this country is it considered improper behaviour for a man to go through an open doorway in front of a woman?” Bobby was surprised.
“It’s not just considered improper behaviour, it’s a crime.” The man replied.

Bobby awoke the next morning in a small and damp prison cell. Miss Brown was on the other side of the bars.
“Would you like to see inside a prison Bobby?” she joked.
“Shut up.” Bobby replied. The small man stood next to Miss Brown.
“Bobby, as you are not aware of Thai customs, we will give you a chance to get out of here. All you have to do is name the nine ways in which the special verbs differ from normal verbs.” Bobby wondered if this man was a sadist, but smiled.
“Easy. In interrogatives, the verb usually comes before the subject. Their negatives are formed by adding ‘do not’. They are used as auxiliaries, used in tail questions and short answers. They are used to be emphatic, do not take ‘s’ in the third person present simple and finally are followed by certain adverbs.” Bobby felt smug.

After Bobby’s release, another small man approached them. He was even smaller than the first guy.
“I understand you are looking for Mr Callan. I have information, but it will cost you dearly… dearly… dearly…” he said, his voice echoing rather mystically.
“Name your price!” Miss Brown said.
“I want Bobby’s hat… hat… hat…” the man said.
“Is that all?” Bobby handed over his cheap, imitation Sherlock Holmes deerstalker.
“Follow the river downstream, about 100km.. You will come to a city called Phetchaburi. Near there are some caves, and inside is a Buddhist temple…”
“A temple? Isn’t that where people go to worship?” Miss Brown asked.
“Er, yes. Shut up. Follow the river….” The man seemed to disappear.
“Wait!” Miss Brown cried. “Tell me some of the sights one might see if one went to Phetchaburi!” The man reappeared.
“Well, some of the sights one might see if one went to Phetchaburi are the caves of Khao Luang, the Phra Nakhan Khiri Fair and the Palace of Phrarajnivesmarugadayawan.”
The man disappeared again. Bobby and Miss Brown set off on their journey.