Welcome one and all to another edition of The Speedo. We have three new people to introduce: Ryan, from the USA, and Robert and Paul, from the UK. They will be teaching in a classroom near you soon.

Daniel is giving a lecture on that much-loved beverage, tea, this Friday at 19:30, so if you want to come and learn a few things and have a bit of a chat at the same time, sign up for it in the secretaries’ office.

In the meantime, here are a few facts about tea:

80% of office workers in Britain now claim they find out more about what's going on at work over a cup of tea than in any other way.

Tea was created more than 5000 years ago in China.

Tea first appeared in Europe in 1560.

96% of all cups of tea drunk daily in the UK are brewed from tea bags.

Tea is a natural source of fluoride that can help protect against tooth decay and gum disease.

Tea has potential health maintenance benefits in cardiovascular disease and cancer prevention.

Tea contains half the amount of caffeine found in coffee.

By the middle of the 18th Century tea had replaced ale and gin as the drink of the masses and had become Britain's most popular beverage.

The Boston Tea Party was an act of protest by the American colonists against Great Britain in which they destroyed many crates of tea bricks on ships in Boston Harbour. The incident, which took place on December 16, 1773, is said to have helped start the American Revolution.

Without TEA a TEACHER cannot TEACH.

The Adventures of Bobby Callan #4

Bobby was at the Brown family’s home talking to Master Brown.
“If you jumped out of the window”, Bobby said, “would you hurt yourself?”
“Why would I want to jump out of the window?” Master Brown asked.
“It’s only a supposition,” said Bobby. “Of course, you don’t want to jump out of the window, but if you did, would you hurt yourself?”
“I most certainly would,” Master Brown said. Suddenly, Bobby heard a scream and saw the figure of a man falling past the window. Mr Brown had just fallen from the roof. They ran outside to find him lying on the grass.
“Oh no!” Master Brown gasped. “Is he dead?”
“No, I’m not dead”, said Mr Brown, “but I think you should call me an ambulance.”
“Mr Brown”, Bobby replied, “you are an ambulance!”
“What were you doing on the roof?” Master Brown enquired.
“I was fixing the TV aerial as I am constantly having to adjust the TV set in order to get a good, clear picture.”
The ambulance soon arrived and took Mr Brown to the hospital. Mrs Brown had been out shopping, and was horrified to hear the news.
“If I had been here, I wouldn’t have let him climb onto the roof,” Mrs Brown said. Bobby noted her use of the past subjunctive conditional. Mrs Brown hadn’t been there at the time her husband climbed out onto the roof, but if she had been there, she wouldn’t have let him do it.
“What a pity!” Bobby exclaimed.
Later that day, Bobby went shopping with Master and Miss Brown.
“What kind of amusements do you have in your home town?” he asked.
“Well”, said Miss Brown, “we have various pubs, and a cinema.”
“Do you frequent any clubs?” he asked her.
“Only gay clubs,” she replied.
They all went to Tesco, but as they were approaching, Bobby saw a stream of people streaming out of the building in a hurry.
“What are they doing? What are they doing?” Bobby asked.
“Shut up!” Master Brown replied.
“To tell somebody to shut up is not really polite”, said Bobby, “but if we wish to be polite, what ought we to say instead?”
“Shut up, please!” Master Brown replied.
Bobby and Master Brown didn’t speak to each other for the rest of the day. After dinner, Bobby told Miss Brown about his mission to find Robin Callan, the inventor of the Callan Method.
“Do you really believe he’s your great uncle?” she asked.
“Well”, replied Bobby, “we’ve got the same surname.”
“Yes, but I’ve got the same surname as Bobby Brown, the singer, but that doesn’t mean I’m related to him,” she said. The fact that she had the same surname as someone famous brought a mild look of surprise to his face.
“Oh well, whether he’s my great uncle or not doesn’t really matter,” said Bobby. “I’m going to ask him to change the method.”
That evening, Miss Brown took Bobby to ‘Fudge’, her favourite club. They had a marvellous time.