Last week, Brian gave a lecture on Ebonics. It was a great success. Seven students were down with that.

Mister T, however, was unable to attend.

If you are interested in learning something about American beer, I recommend going to Marshall’s lecture on Friday at 7:30pm.

Music Club is at London Pub, Plac Piastów on Saturday 8pm. Marcin will be performing his Working Men's Club Classics.

Also, Tom and Ryan’s Football Club is next Monday so get your name down in the secretaries’ office if you are interested.

The Adventures of Bobby Callan #10

At nine o'clock ante meridiem, Bobby got up and went about the usual business of washing and dressing. He liked to live a regular life; Miss Brown, on the other hand, thought that a life where one does things when one pleases was better. They would argue about it sometimes, each of them disagreeing with the other, but the argument rarely developed into a quarrel.

At ten thirty-two Bobby and Miss Brown were enjoying a full English breakfast in the hotel dining-room, the room in which one dines.
“How’s your sausage, Bobby?” Miss Brown asked.
“Fine. How are your eggs?”
“They’re OK. Bobby, how are we going to pay for all this now that we’ve run out of money?”
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ll think of something.”
At ten fifty-four Bobby was explaining to the hotel manager how a giraffe had eaten his wallet.
“I see”, said the manager, “but tell me, Mr Callan, how could a giraffe possibly have eaten your wallet when there are no giraffes in Argentina?”
Bobby hesitated. He who hesitates is lost, he thought.
“Hang on”, he replied, “it wasn’t a giraffe. It was a gerund.”
“What on earth is a gerund?” the manager asked.
“It’s a verbal noun; that is, half a verb and half a noun and ends in -ing.”
He turned and quickly made for the exit.
“Stop that man!” the manager cried.
Bobby ran outside and got into the waiting car. Miss Brown was sitting in the driver’s seat.
“Drive!” he commanded.
“Is that the imperative of the verb ‘to drive’?” Miss Brown enquired.
“I couldn’t care less right now. Just drive the bloody car!”
Miss Brown pressed her foot down on the accelerator and the car pulled away at high speed.
“If they catch us”, Bobby said, “they’ll probably call the police, the police will come and arrest us, and we’ll be thrown into prison!”

They drove to the airport; it wasn’t far, in fact, it was a very long way. However, there was just one snag; they didn’t have any money left.
A one-armed man met them in the entrance hall.
“Congratulations!” the man said. “You are our one-billionth customer. You have won two tickets to a destination of your choice.”
Bobby could not believe his luck.
“We’re going to Thailand!” he said, pulling Miss Brown towards him in a joyful embrace.
“I’ve never been to Thailand,” she said.
“Neither have I.”
Although Bobby had never been to Thailand before, he had seen a television documentary once about ladyboys in Bangkok.
“The Asiatic races dress more for a hot climate,” said Miss Brown.
“So I’ve heard,” Bobby replied. “We’ll have to wear very light clothes so as not to suffer from the heat.”

“Yes, we’ll have to wear very light clothes in order not to suffer from the heat,” Miss Brown repeated without using the word ‘so’.