This week’s edition by: David

Well, it’s the end of October. That probably means that here in Poland winter is almost upon us, or rather the cold, winter temperatures. We’re still here though, writing your Speedo Newsletter with gloves on. Read on for the latest news in the world of the Speed School of English, and catch up with the latest episode of Bobby Callan.

In news this week, Daniel had his lecture last Friday. It was a great success, he said, with six students turning up to listen to all things tea-related. A little bird tells me Daniel was even kind enough to give away free tea-bags! Not something that happens every day!

There are a few events this week. First up is Sports Club, with Tom and Ryan. This will take place on Tuesday 30th October, at 6pm. If you’d like more information, see Tom or Ryan, and sign up with the secretaries.

Next up is Ice-Skating Club, with Brian and Matt. This is at the usual place, the ice-rink on ul. Akademicka, on Saturday November 3rd. It’s at 12pm, usual drill applies. See the secretaries!

Then we have Music Club, with Daniel and Marcin. This month we have an old favourite of ours, Jeff, playing at the London Pub on Plac Piastów on Saturday November 10th. Gig starts at 8pm.


So, that doesn’t leave me with much room for anything else! So I’ll tell you a little about a national holiday here in Poland, All Saints’ Day.

This takes place on November 1st, but it hasn’t always been that way. The original All Saints Day was chosen as May 13th, as far back as 609 in the West.

In Poland, the tradition is to light candles. In Spain and Portugal, they take flowers to the graves of friends and family. In England, we just sing hymns.

Originally it commemorated a martyr’s death. As a number of Christians would suffer martyrdom on the same day, a joint celebration for all was created.



The Adventures Of Bobby Callan – Part Five

Bobby walked out of Fudge, carrying Miss Brown as she had drunk too much vodka. She was sick on his shirt. He wondered if he could have it cleaned by Mrs Brown. He didn’t like cleaning, he preferred to have it done for him. It was much easier that way. Another word for sick is vomit, he thought. Why couldn’t girls control themselves after a night out? He felt a bit light-headed himself, and couldn’t wait to sleep. He usually lay in bed for at least eight hours at night, but this would be an exception. A taxi was parked conveniently outside, so he pushed Miss Brown in and asked the driver to take them home. The driver insisted that if Miss Brown was sick in the car the cost would increase by ₤20.
“Twenty pounds?!” Bobby exclaimed. In the old days, that was four hundred shillings.

Bobby awoke with a start just after 10am, and his head felt like it wanted to explode. There was a knock at the door, and in walked Mr Brown.
“What do we say to people between 6am and 1pm Bobby?” he said.
“Ugh… Good morning Mr Brown.. Can I go back to sleep now?” Bobby groaned.
“Bobby, did you just use the verb + back construction? That means to return, did you know that?” Mr Brown was impressed by Bobby’s knowledge of grammar.
“Yes, Mr Brown, I did. It’s common, I believe. Would you mind if I asked you a question?”
“Sure Bobby, I would be glad to help. What is it?” Mr Brown was all ears.
“What would you say was the stock cure for a headache here in Grantchester? Miss Brown took me to Fudge last night...”
“Ah, Bobby, are you asking for my opinion? I believe you used the Subjunctive after the question ‘would you say’. Well done chap!” Mr Brown smiled broadly. “I would say the stock cure for a headache was to lie down and rest. But I’m afraid today that is not possible, so you’ll have to take some medicine. Mrs Brown will help you. She is in the kitchen.”.

Just as Mr Brown was leaving the room, there was another groan, this time female. He turned round to see Miss Brown pop her head from under the blanket. He was surprised, and when people are surprised they usually open their mouths and eyes wide. Mr Brown did exactly that.
“Miss Brown, why on earth are you in Bobby’s bed?”
“Oh, good morning Dad” Miss Brown replied. “I don’t remember last night. We were in Fudge, and I think I drank too much. Bobby and I were dancing. It was great fun! I have a terrible hangover though. What is the stock cure for a headache?”
“Bobby has already asked me that, go see your mother. I must say, I am quite mad about this” Mr Brown snapped.
“What, do you mean you like it? I want to marry Bobby, he’s such a pleasant man.”
It was Bobby’s turn to be surprised, his mouth opened to say something but didn’t. He wasn’t disappointed as he suddenly remembered the way in which Miss Brown was dancing with him. He smiled; she behaves differently when she thinks she is not being observed by her parents, he thought. I could get used to that. He smiled pleasantly at Miss Brown.
“No, I am not happy about it. Quite the opposite. I am furious!” Mr Brown said. “Bobby, you are to leave at once!”
Bobby noted the use of ‘to be’ when something has been planned or ordered.
“It’s ok Miss Brown, today I need to go to the Callan HQ in London. Oxford Street, so I can do some shopping too. The main shopping street in London is Oxford Street.”
Miss Brown gave Bobby her mobile number as he left and promised to text.