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Last Week
Brian gave a lecture on collocations and Gosia hosted Travel Club. Saturday also saw the return of Jeff Shiffman to the London Pub. You may remember him from Music Club. Our very own Kel accompanied him on vocals for a couple of songs and impressed us all with his rendition of Creedance Clearwater’s “Have You Ever Seen The Rain.” Nice one, Kel :)

This Week
If you’re interested in having a conversation with a native speaker, then why not sign up for the Intermediate Conversation Club. It’s this Tuesday, so get your name down if you want to go. Brian will also be doing Rock Climbing Club again on Friday.

You know you're really broke when...

American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"

Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.

You look at your room-mate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

McDonald's supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

At communion you go back for seconds.

You wash your toilet paper.

You have to save up to be poor.

You're in college.

On thanksgiving your dad would bring home a picture of a thanksgiving meal.

You owe yourself money.

Your imaginary friend has more money than you.

The Origin of the Union Jack
As you can see from the picture, the flag of the United Kingdom (England, Scotland, Wales & Northern Ireland) was made from combining the flags of England (St. George’s cross), Scotland (St. Andrew’s cross) and St. Patrick’s cross. The flag in the bottom-right hand corner is the union flag of England and Scotland. The Union Jack is also a feature of the flags for both Australia and New Zealand, and originally Canada, before the current maple leaf design was adopted, in 1965.

Phrases which refer to the face
(metallic faces from ‘Crazy Bar’ in Krakow)

Let’s face it – Meaning we have to accept the facts.
e.g. Let’s face it, we can’t go to the cinema if we haven’t got enough money.

A long face – Somebody is unhappy, or looks sad.

As plain as the nose on your face – Something is obvious or very simple.

Keep a straight face – When something is very funny and you’re trying not to laugh e.g. When the Queen fell over, we all had to keep a straight face.

Off your face – drunk.


… and there are many more!!!

THANKSGIVING is an annual one-day holiday to give thanks (traditionally to God) at the close of the harvest season. In the United States, Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November. (i.e. THIS Thursday!) In Canada, it is celebrated on the second Monday in October. In the United Kingdom, Thanksgiving is another name for the Harvest festival, held in churches across the country on a relevant Sunday to mark the end of the local harvest, though it is not thought of as a major event (compared to Christmas or Easter) as it is in other parts of the world. This tradition was taken to North America by early settlers, where it became much more important.

THE ASHES – Thursday sees the start of The Ashes. The Ashes is a Test (5 days per match, five matches in a series) cricket series, played between England and Australia - it is international cricket's oldest and most celebrated rivalry dating back to 1882. The series will last until after Christmas.
The last Ashes series was played in England in 2005 when England regained The Ashes after a gap of 16 years by winning the series 2-1. Oh boy, did we win.
The urn on the left is what the team “wins” – it is said to contain the ashes of a piece of cricket equipment burnt in the late 1800s. However, it actually stays in a museum in England. It is only 10cm high.
No doubt you will see Kel and I arguing over who will win.
COME ON ENGLAND!

“How do you do? How do you do?”

That amazing English greeting (which is actually a question), according to Mr. Callan, that doesn’t provide an answer. The question is “WHY?” If only we knew. English is like that. Don’t go ranting in the corridor at me, I didn’t invent the language. In the words of the South Park guys, “blame Canada…”

So, some bits-and-pieces in this week’s newsletter; a couple of reviews, some previews and a couple of features on up-coming Native events. Read on, people!

REVIEWS

KID’S CLUB - SATURDAY
This was a great success. Many kids turned up, to play games such as Uno and dominoes, and to generally have fun. Something Brian doesn’t comprehend. He did try to get in once, out of curiosity, but was turned away for not having the appropriate I.D. Next time Brian; you need to prove you’re old enough!

MUSIC CLUB - SATURDAY
Another resounding success, albeit a little on the short side. Students and teachers turned up in equal measure, not because Marcin was playing but because there was rather cheap alcohol on sale. As for the “star” attraction, Marcin played songs by diverse artists such as Jeff Buckley, Gloria Gaynor, Will Young (just for Tanya) and Radiohead. Next time Marcin, at least stay for a beer afterwards!


NEWS AND EVENTS

LECTURE – COLLOCATIONS
Friday 24th November, 17.30
What is a collocation? According to the Oxford Advanced English Learner’s Dictionary, it is “a combination of words in a language, that happens very often and more frequently than would happen by chance.” Lost? Go to Brian’s lecture. You might just see me there, because I haven’t a clue.

Sign up with the secretaries.

FILM CLUB
Friday 24th November, 19.30
Chris will be your host for this, a showing of “Date Movie.” Some American ‘comedy.’ Can Americans actually do comedy? Who knows? Go find out. I know it has that ginger girl from “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” and “American Pie” in it. Usual drill, see the secretaries. If you’re lucky, he’ll bring popcorn. I doubt it though.


TRAVEL CLUB
Saturday 25th November, 13.00
This week Gosia isn’t going anywhere. So she’s going to take you on a virtual journey to her second homeland, Canada. You should be able to relate to it, because it’s cold there too. There’ll be a slide show and a talk, so go along. Again, usual drill – see the secretaries.


SNOOKER & POOL CLUB
Sunday 26th November, 14.00
Daniel and Kel will be holding this one, and maybe if we are lucky we’ll have more than one student attend. No doubt a few of the teachers will attend, we like nothing more than drinking beer and (trying) to play snooker.

Here we are again. I would say something nice about the weather but it’s been pretty awful recently. Last week, I gave a lecture on euphemisms. One person showed up, so euphemistically speaking, there was an attendance issue, probably due to a lack of interest. Come on people, let’s see a bit more enthusiasm!

Last week also saw the start of Polish lessons for our teachers. Soon, we will all be able to hold a simple conversation with the students in Polish.

November 11
Remembrance Day (Australia, Canada, United Kingdom), also known as Poppy Day (South Africa and Malta), and Armistice Day (United Kingdom, New Zealand and many other Commonwealth countries; and the original name of the holiday internationally) is a day to commemorate the sacrifice of veterans and civilians in World War I, World War II, and other wars. It is observed on November 11 to recall the end of World War I on that date in 1918. The observance is specifically dedicated to members of the armed forces who were killed during war, and was created by King George V of the United Kingdom on November 7, 1919. In Poland, November 11 marks the celebration of Independence Day, since it was on November 11, 1918 that Poland regained its independence after being divided between Russia, Prussia and Austria for 123 years.

This week
Saturday is a day to remember as there will be another Kids Club, starting at 11 a.m. If you want to put your kids somewhere whilst you go shopping then here is the perfect opportunity! Ask at the secretaries office if you require further information.

There will also be another Music Club at The London Pub, Plac Piastów. A girl by the name of Ola will be singing jazz and blues, accompanied by a young amateur guitarist called Marcin. The evening will kick-off (start) around 8 p.m. so get your name down at the secretaries office if you want to come.

If you are suddenly pulled out of your lesson by a rather stressed Callan teacher, don’t worry. This week sees the start of oral assessments, so group mentors will be asking a few questions and offering some advice to their students.

Word of the Day
Oxymoron /oksi'mawron/ – this is a phrase that combines two terms which are normally contradictory e.g. It was a real nightmare. Some more examples are: living death; educated guess; found missing; pretty ugly; honest politician J

Killer Biscuits Wanted For Attempted Murder
(This was an actual headline that appeared in a U.S. newspaper.)
Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Lisa’s eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Lisa replied that she’d been shot in the back of her head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head… A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid. Lisa is blonde.

Top 10 Signs Your Family is Stressed...
10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
8. The cat is on Valium.
7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.

This week’s edition by: David

Ok, so it’s yet another week at the office. We had two clubs last week, both pretty successful, which you’ll find out about next. Also we have a feature on a popular British celebration, Bonfire Night, which took place on the evening of the 5th. This is an opportunity to find out about a pretty unique celebration, so read on!

REVIEWS

ROCK CLIMBING CLUB

Three students attended this club, hosted by myself, a great success. One was a bit of a seasoned pro (i.e. had climbed before) and two were absolute beginners, and seemed to get the hang of it pretty quickly! So congratulations, and well done! As for me, I woke up aching all over, and with a banged knee. Painful.

ADVANCED CONVERSATION CLUB

Sean held this club, and only one student attended. However, they both had a good chinwag about subjects as diverse as education and the acquisition of language. After an hour and twenty minutes of hard intellectual battle, both people retired with swollen brains. Well done guys!


NEWS AND EVENTS

LECTURE – EUPHEMISMS

Friday 10th November, 19.30.

This week sees our resident co-editor, Daniel, host his lecture. He will be talking about euphemisms, which are ways of making something bad sound good. This is a fascinating topic, and can be quite funny. You’ll get to hear some strange phrases you won’t have heard before, and some which are typically British. If you want to attend, you know the drill – sign up in the secretaries’ office.

There’s not much else happening in the world of Speed. However, we do have another Music Club coming up in ten days or so, and we also have another Kids’ Club around the same time. More on those next week.

IN OTHER NEWS….

The Callan teachers all begin their Polish lesson this week. So beware! We will know all that you say in class VERY soon! It will be quite funny to see how it goes though. We’ll let you know next week how the first round of lessons went.

FUN AND OTHER RANDOM STUFF

WORD OF THE DAY

EXEUNT - ex·e·unt [ éksee ənt ]

This is commonly found in old plays, especially Shakespeare. It is used when there is more than one actor on stage, and more than one is to exit the stage. For example, “exeunt left” means that the actors are to leave the stage to the right. It is a 15th Century Latin word.


THOUGHT OF THE DAY

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?


RANDOM BRITISH JOKE OF THE WEEK

"I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar."


"REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE 5TH OF NOVEMBER; GUNPOWDER, TREASON AND PLOT"

Guy Fawkes Night, more commonly known as Bonfire Night, is an annual celebration (but not a public holiday) on the evening of the 5th of November primarily in the United Kingdom, but also in British colonies New Zealand, South Africa, the province of Newfoundland and Labrador (Canada), parts of the British Caribbean including the Bahamas, and to some extent by their nationals abroad. Bonfire Night was common in Australia until the 1980s, but it was held on the Queen's Birthday long weekend in June.

It celebrates the failure of the Gunpowder Plot, in which a group of Catholic conspirators, led by one Robert Catesby, and including Guy Fawkes, attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament in Westminster on the evening of 5 November 1605, when the Protestant King James I (James VI of Scotland) was within its walls. The plot was only prevented when one of the conspirators warned a Member of Parliament that he should not attend that evening.

The celebrations, which in the United Kingdom take place in towns and villages across the country, involve fireworks displays and the building of bonfires, on which "guys", or dummies, representing Guy Fawkes, the most infamous of the conspirators, are traditionally burnt. Before the fifth, children traditionally used the "guys" to beg for money with the chant "Penny for the guy", although this is now rarely seen.

Note from David: This begging for money is in fact more prevalent than ever among the young and behaviourally challenged. In Britain anyway.

UNTIL NEXT TIME, ADIOS!