This week’s edition by: David

Well, we’re fully into winter. There is snow everywhere. Where I come from, snow is not so common. People pray for snow at Christmas, just to make it authentic. A Christmas with grey skies and rain just doesn’t feel right!

In the news last week, Marshall’s Tai-Chi Club was a great success. He didn’t stop talking about it for ages! In this week’s news, we have Brian’s lecture on Ebonics. This takes place on Thursday 29th, at 7.30pm. Sign up with the secretaries if you want to go. Also, we have Ice-Skating Club, on Saturday 1st December at 12.30pm. Meet Matt and Brian at the rink. Later the same day, Jeff will be playing another concert at the London Pub. Finally, on December 8th, Marcin will be hosting another Music Club. The theme is Working Mens Club Classics.

SOME RANDOM FACTS ABOUT SNOW

“No two snowflakes are alike” is a very disputed phrase! Some say that two have been found to be the same!

For it to snow the tops of the clouds must be below zero degrees Celsius, or 32 degrees Fahrenheit.

Snow at the North and South Pole reflect heat into space. That happens because the ice acts like a mirror with the heat of the sun, and the heat bounces off the ice and into space.

Scientists have been studying snowflakes for more than 400 years. A man names “Snowflake Bentley” photographed snowflakes individually in the 1920s.

Snow is not always the same size either. In Montana, USA, in 1887, the largest snowflakes on record fell to the earth. Each snowflake was fifteen inches in diameter!

See you next week guys!

The Adventures of Bobby Callan – Part Nine


Bobby awoke with a start. The hotel isn’t so nice, he thought, noting one of the million uses of so. Miss Brown was nowhere to be seen. He wondered if she had been taken by aliens during the night. He believed that there were people living on other planets, but everyone thought he was crazy. Someone had once asked him if he would like to pay a visit to a madhouse. He simply replied that his family home was a madhouse anyway, so why would he want to go to a different one?

He got up, and showered. He was careful not to drop the soap. He had had bad experiences once. He made himself some breakfast. He noted that people usually had toast or eggs or something like that for breakfast. He reheated last night’s pizza, deciding to be different. Just as he was finishing eating, his telephone rang. He stared at it for a second or two, before realizing that when a telephone rings we pick it up and answer it.

“Hello?” he said.
“Hello Bobby, eet ees Diego.” The voice said in a broken local accent. Bobby had heard of British, Australian, American and even Indian English, but not rural Argentinian. He was fascinated.
“How do you do Diego?” he asked.
“How do you do Bobby?” Diego replied. Bobby felt unfulfilled by that answer. It wasn’t really an answer. How stupid, he thought.
“What can I do for you Diego?” Bobby asked. He wondered how Diego had gotten his phone number in the first place. Maybe he works for the CIA? They know everything, he thought.
“I have a message for you from Mees Brown. She told mee to geeve you her regards, first of all, and then to tell you to meeeet her at the Quite Fast School of Eeenglish. I am waiting outside for you!” Diego said. Bobby was puzzled at Diego’s accent. It hadn’t been so bad yesterday.

Bobby and Diego drove to the Quite Fast School of English, with the Gypsy Kings playing on the wireless.
“Did Miss Brown tell you why she wanted to meet me here?” Bobby asked. “No sir, she just told me to breeeng you here.” Diego replied.
They finally arrived at the school. Bobby jumped out of the car while it was still moving. He fell, and hurt his ankle.
“Bobby, what happens eef you step out of a car while it is steel moving? You can fall and hurt yourself!” Diego laughed.
“Shut up Diego.” Bobby was not happy. He went inside and found Miss Brown waiting for him.
“Hey Bobby, how are you?” she asked.
“I’ve been better. I have just fallen out of a moving vehicle and sprained my ankle.” He replied.
“Oh dear” Miss Brown said. “Anyway, I heard from the schoolmaster that Mr Callan was seen on holiday in Thailand. He is not sure when though. So I think we should go there.”
“Splendid idea,” Bobby said. He thought of a phrase he had heard. Confucius he say; man who walk through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok. He had always wondered if this was true. He would soon find out.

“Lets go back to the hotel Bobby. I need to make it up to you for running out this morning.” Miss Brown suggested. Bobby smiled.

What's this?

Is it a lady? Is it a bird?
No, it’s neither a lady, nor a bird, but it’s a LADYBIRD

The Ladybird, or Ladybug in American English, (Biedronka in Polish) is a kind of beetle that is believed by some to bring good luck if it lands on you. In parts of Europe, a ladybird crawling across a girl’s hand means she will get married within a year.

Marshall’s Tai Chi Club is this Saturday at 3pm in room 7. It should be interesting, so if you want to come and learn something about this ancient Chinese martial art, the usual deal applies: sign up for it in the secretaries’ office.

This week also sees the start of the teacher surveys. This gives the students a chance to assess the quality of teaching here at Speed.

Stupid Question of the Day:

If I were you and you were I, and you, that is I, were walking down the street and suddenly saw someone who looked like you, what would I do?

Crack the Speedo Code:
Replace each letter with the letter that precedes it in the alphabet.

uif dbu tbu po uif nbu

The Adventures of Bobby Callan #8

The next morning, Bobby awoke to the sound of Miss Brown snoring. He silenced her with a bare word. He got up and looked out of the window. The sun was shining, as it always did during the day, and even at night, though we can’t always see it because the world turns a complete circle every twenty-four hours.
“This is how we explain the reason for darkness at night,” Bobby thought. He looked at Miss Brown lying in the bed.
“Are you still sleeping?”
He used the word ‘still’ with a heavy stress in order to express surprise and annoyance. She didn’t respond.
“Perhaps she’s kicked the bucket,” he thought.
He shook her violently.
“What are you doing? What are you doing?” Miss Brown said.
“Get up! Get up!” Bobby demanded.
They went downstairs and had breakfast, which consisted of eggs, transitive verbs, and compound nouns. Bobby thought it was delicious, but the compound nouns were slightly undercooked.
“What are we going to do today, Bobby?” asked Miss Brown.
Bobby noted her use of the Future Intention.
“We’re going to rent a car and explore the surrounding countryside.”

Later that day, they met a young goat farmer called Diego.
“Tell me something about goats,” Bobby asked him.
“They live on grass,” he replied.
Diego was an ambitious man. He wanted to play football for Argentina, but his plans for the future had all been upset by the interference of his father. However, he hoped he would one day realize his ambition.
“Do you know Robin Callan?” Bobby asked Diego.
“No, but there’s a Callan school in the next town,” he replied.
“What’s it called?”
“The Quite Fast School of English. Not as quick as Speed, but quite fast.”
“Quite fast, or quite fast?” Bobby wondered.

On the way to the next town, the car suddenly stopped going.
“When a car breaks down, are you any good at making it go again?” Miss Brown asked.
He answered her question with a mere no.
“I think we’ve run out of petrol,” he announced. “We’ll have to walk.”
“Wait! I’ve got an idea,” said Miss Brown. “Hand me that empty bottle.”
She got out of the car and went behind a nearby tree. Ten minutes later, Bobby took the bottle of foul-smelling yellow liquid from Miss Brown and poured it into the petrol tank. The engine roared back to life.
“You’re wonderful!” Bobby told Miss Brown.
They soon arrived in the next town, thanks to Miss Brown’s resourcefulness.
The Quite Fast School of English was quite small. After making enquiries about the whereabouts of Robin Callan, Bobby became somewhat depressed.
“I’m afraid our journey has been in vain,” he told Miss Brown.
“Cheer up,” she said. “Don’t feel down, low, down in the dumps, etc.”
“We may as well go back to the hotel,” Bobby said.
The car failed to start. Miss Brown handed him the empty bottle.
“Use your resourcefulness,” she said.

This week's edition by: David


So, last week there was only one club. That was Hiking Club, and nobody attended. Never mind, this week there are two different clubs, both involving me. The first is Kids’ Club, on Saturday 17th November. This is for all the kids we have here at the Speed School, where they can come and watch a film (in English of course) and play games. It is at 12.30pm, in Rooms 7 & 8.


Also this week is Cinema Club, with myself and Chris. This month we will be going to see a film called 3.10 to Yuma, starring Russell Crowe and Christian Bale. It’s an adventure Western, and is showing at 4.45pm on Saturday 17th. Meet at Cinema City in Forum at around 4.30pm.

Marcin would also like to remind you of a great Polish band, George Dorns Screams. They are playing at Cogitatur in Katowice, doors open at 6pm. Tickets cost 25zl and Marcin says the train to Katowice leaves Gliwice at 4.50pm.


Also, Tom would like to tell you about his lecture. This is an opportunity to come and learn a little Chinese, and also learn about the country itself. It takes place on Friday 16th November, at 5.30pm. Sign up in the secretaries’ office if you want to go.

In other news, Matt says hello.



Sunday saw a very special day for people in Britain and Canada, among other places. It was Remembrance Day, a time where people remember the people who died fighting in the two World Wars, and any other wars the country has been involved in. People are silent for one or two minutes, and there are services in towns and cities. Many towns in England for example have cenotaphs to remember the dead. People wear poppies as a sign of respect too. This happens every year on the 11th November.

Poland, on the same day, celebrates Independence Day. Poland regained its independence in 1918. This was when Józef Piłsudski came to Warsaw and assumed supreme military power. You can find his statue just off Zywcięstwa. November 11th is also the independence day of Angola. It was also the day that Jan Sobieski and the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth defeated the Ottoman Army in the second battle of Khotyn in1673.




The Adventures of Bobby Callan – Part Seven


Bobby arrived at Heathrow airport. He had considered going by train and ship but it was just too far. He had remembered the Titanic and didn’t like the idea of crossing the Atlantic by ship. He went to the check-in desk, and was standing in a rather long queue when there was a tap on his shoulder. He jumped, because that is the normal thing to do when one gets a surprise. He turned round, and there stood Miss Brown. He was even more surprised.

“Miss Brown, what are you doing here?” he asked?
“I wanted to come with you Bobby. Life bores me at home with the Browns.” She looked at him with big blue eyes. Those eyes were the first thing I noticed about her when I first met her, Bobby thought.
“Ok, but do you have your passport? I will need to buy you a ticket.”
Miss Brown gave him her passport. He looked at it. Her picture looked as if it had been cut straight out of a Callan book. In black-and-white too.

They boarded the plane, and remembered to fasten their safety-belts. Miss Brown turned to Bobby.
“Bobby, darling, does it take several hours to fly to Argentina?”
“Yes Miss Callan, it does take several hours to get to Argentina. Why do you ask?” Bobby asked.
“Just wondering.” Miss Brown rested her head on Bobby’s arm and closed her eyes. Within minutes, she was asleep.

The rest of the flight was uneventful. Bobby looked out of the window. What can we see in the sky during the day? Bobby thought. He could see the clouds very well – in fact he was in them. After several hours, the plane landed in Buenos Aires. Buenos Aires was the capital of Argentina. They got into a taxi, whose driver was angry. The job of a taxi-driver makes great demands on one’s nerves, Bobby thought. He thought he had better be polite. One had better be polite if one does not want to have blows rained upon his head in a violent and painful way. He opened the door and asked the driver if he spoke English.
“Non, je ne pas parle anglais, mais je parle Français.”
Bobby couldn’t make head nor tail of what the driver said. Miss Brown smiled at him.
“He said he doesn’t speak English, but he speaks French.” Bobby wondered why a Frenchman was in Argentina working as a taxi-driver.
“Très bein, Hotel Pablo s’il vous plait!” she ordered.
Bobby was even more surprised that Miss Brown spoke French. “I didn’t know you spoke French! That was great!”
“Yes, I studied French at school. I also speak Spanish, Italian, German and Japanese.”
“Wow, I’ve never known anyone who could speak more than five languages!” Bobby was impressed.

The journey was over in ten minutes. They thanked the taxi driver, and went inside the hotel. They went to the check-in desk and handed over their passports, as required.
“When I stay here for one night, does the price I pay usually include breakfast?” Miss Brown asked in Spanish.“Yes, when you stay at this hotel for one night, the price you pay usually includes breakfast. It’s normal here in Argentina.” The receptionist replied in English. They thanked the receptionist and went up to their room. Only a double bed, Bobby thought.





See you next week guys!

The fifth of November is an important date in English culture. Four hundred years ago, a man called Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament in London in an attempt to kill King James I, his family, and most of the Protestant aristocracy. Every year, people in the United Kingdom and other Commonwealth countries and regions celebrate the failure of the plot on what is known as Guy Fawkes Night, Bonfire Night, Fireworks Night, Cracker Night or Plot Night. This usually involves lighting fires or bonfires as they are called, and letting off fireworks.

Remember, remember the fifth of November; the gunpowder, treason, and plot...

What’s happening this week?

Marcin and Daniel’s Music Club takes place this Saturday at the London Pub on Plac Piastów @ 8pm. Skating Club is this Saturday. Sign up for it in the secretaries’ office and meet at the skating rink @ 12:30 if you want to go. See Brian for more details.

Word of the Day
Nut

1. A dry fruit
2. Slang for head
3. A person who is very enthusiastic about something e.g. He’s a grammar nut
4. A crazy person
5. To be nuts about something means to be very keen or interested e.g. My friend is nuts about Angelina Jolie
6. A hard nut to crack is a problem which is very difficult to solve

7. Off one’s nut means to be confused or insane

The Adventures of Bobby Callan #6

Bobby arrived at the Callan headquarters in London. There were a lot of steps up to the office, fifty-eight to be precise. He knocked on the door.
“Enter!” a voice cried from within. He opened the door to see three men dressed like Mr Brown sitting round a table playing cards.
“Hello, I’m Bobby Callan, and I’m here to see Robin Callan.”
“He’s not here,” one of the men said.
“Where is he?” Bobby asked.
“That’s top secret. Can’t tell you I’m afraid. Mr Callan doesn’t like people to know of his whereabouts.”
“Tell you what”, Bobby said confidently, “I’ll play you at cards, and if I win, you have to tell me where he is.”
The three men looked at one another and considered his challenge.
“Go on,” said Bobby. “I dare you!”
“All right,” the man said.
Bobby sat down and started to play. Half an hour later he had lost all his money, and the chances of finding Robin Callan were getting slimmer by the minute.
“Double or nothing?” the Mr Brown look-alike said.
Bobby nodded in agreement. He had decided to play one more game, double or nothing. If he won, he would get back all that he had lost, but if he lost the game, he would double what he had already lost. Fortunately, his luck was in, and he won.
“Ha! Now you must tell me where Robin Callan is,” Bobby said.
“Hang on”, the man said, “you didn’t win. You just got your money back. You said that if you won we had to tell you where he was.”
“Don’t change my direct speech into indirect speech without my permission!” Bobby replied angrily.
The man spoke to him quietly and pleasantly, as this is the best way to calm somebody down when he’s very angry.
“Listen. If you really want to find Mr Callan, you’ll have to go to Argentina. That’s all I can tell you.”
“So, he’s in Argentina. Great! I’ll have a nice holiday and look for Robin Callan at the same time,” Bobby said.
“Kill two birds with one stone,” the man retorted.
“Exactly! You’ve hit the nail right on the head.”
They all started laughing. Bobby noticed a picture of Mrs Brown in her underwear hanging on the wall. He looked around the office. There were boxes of Callan books, empty bottles of gin, and packets of cigarettes scattered about the room. It was obvious that the three Mr Brown look-alikes were all idle, perhaps lazy.
“Are you Mr Brown?” Bobby asked the man sitting on his left-hand side.
“No, I’m not Mr Brown, but he’s Mr Brown,” he said, pointing at the man sitting opposite.
“Are you Mr Brown?” Bobby asked the second man.
“No, he’s Mr Brown,” he said, pointing back at the man who was pointing at him.
“But he just said that you were Mr Brown,” Bobby said.
“I’m Mr Brown!” said the third man.
“You’re pulling my leg,” Bobby said.
The three men burst out laughing. Bobby gathered up his things and left.
“I think you all have rough manners”, he said as he was leaving, “not necessarily bad manners but you haven’t been educated in the correct use of manners.”