Hello, good evening and welcome.

Ok, it may not be evening to some of you but I just wanted to say that. It’s from a TV programme back home in England. Funnily enough I don’t remember which….This week is full of clubs, so read on to find out what’s happening. We have a brand new club this week, one that promises to be fun and exciting, and possibly educational….

NEWS AND REVIEWS

Last week saw Sean’s lecture on Japan. Four people came to listen to Sean tell stories about his time there, talk about the culture and traditions and show lots of photographs. I saw some of them, made want to go there sooner! A little bird tells me that he even gave a Stage 1 Callan Lesson in Japanese!

Kids’ Club was on Saturday. The usual fun and games were to be had with Tanya and Linda again supervising. Sometimes I wish I was a kid again, so I could play games all day (even if they ARE educational!).

This week sees three different clubs. First up is the Intermediate Conversation Club, with Hugh and Caroline. It’s on Thursday April 26th, at 7.30pm, in the usual location. That’s the Totu Café, above Promil. Sign up with the secretaries if you want to go!

Next up is our brand new club which myself and Paul will be hosting. It’s the Card Club, where we will play a selection of popular games, teach you new ones and generally just have good fun! This time we will introduce you to a very popular game worldwide, poker. This game has many forms, we will teach you how to play a variation called Texas Hold ‘Em. This is the most popular version, and where the big money lies! This will take place on Friday 27th April, at my (David’s) flat. It’s close to Zwycięstwa, you won’t have to walk far. Meet at the school at 7.30pm!

Finally, it’s Gosia’s Travel Club. This is shrouded in secrecy, as her posters are not even up! If you want to know more, ask Gosia. It takes place on Saturday April 28th, at 11am. Sign up with the secretaries.

HOW TO PLAY TEXAS HOLD ‘EM POKER
Given that the first Card Club is on Friday, here is the basics of a hugely popular game we will cover – poker!

The two players to the left of the dealer put out blind bets. The player directly to the dealer's left puts out the small blind while the second player to the dealer's left puts out the big blind. Blinds are forced bets to get the action going. Otherwise nobody would bet! Every player is dealt two cards, face down. These are called hole or pocket cards. The action, or the first move, falls on the player to the left of the big blind. She can either call the bet, raise it, or fold. Betting continues around the table, clockwise.

After the betting is completed, three cards are dealt face up in the centre of the table, which is referred to as the board. The first three cards in Texas Hold'em are called the flop. These cards are “community cards” meaning everyone can (and will) use them in combination with their own hole cards to make the best hand. From the flop on, betting begins with the player to the dealer’s left, who can check or bet. A fourth card is dealt face up onto the board. This is called the turn card. Another round of betting. The final card is dealt face up. This card is called the river.

A final round of betting occurs. The remaining players show their cards and the person who can make the best five card hand by combining their pocket cards with the cards on the board wins. Note: In some rare cases in Texas Hold'em, the five cards making up the board will actually be the best hand, in which case everyone left in the hand divides up the pot.

And now you know how to play!

What else is happening in the land of Speed this week? Well, Chris' Film Club is on Wednesday at 7:30pm. He'll be showing the film Click which is a comedy starring Adam Sandler. You can read more about it here. Sean's lecture on Japan is on Friday at 5:30pm. Tanya and Linda are hosting Kids' Club on Saturday at 1pm in room 4.

Wow! What a busy bunch of people we are. Here’s an interesting quote about being busy…

“The world is moving so fast these days that the one who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.”

Harry Emerson Fosdick, an American clergyman (1878-1969)

Music Club
8pm Saturday

London Pub, Plac Piastów

Word of the day: Charge

You can charge the enemy in a battle

you can charge a battery

the police can charge you with a crime

... and a shop charges you for things

This week’s edition by: David

Hey guys, welcome to a belated post-Easter Speedo. Quite a short week for me, only three days working this week! Not bad!

Anyway, how was Easter? I spent it on a farm with cows, pigs, chickens and the like. It was a good experience for me, although I wasn’t always sure about the smell…

The usual news and reviews this week, so read on!

NEWS AND REVIEWS

Not much happened in the world of Speed last week. There was, however, a lot of planning for the Easter weekend, with everybody doing something different. For example, I went to a farm in the middle of nowhere, Daniel returned home to England and Gosia and Paul went on a tour of Europe, first to Bratislava and then to Austria. Others stayed in Gliwice. Good fun was had by all, I think!

This week and next sees the return of the usual clubs and lectures cycle. First up is Film Club, with Chris. It takes place on the 18th April, a Wednesday, at 7.30pm in Room 8. This time he will be showing a comedy starring Adam Sandler, called “Click”, which I am told by the IMDb (Internet Movie Database) is about an architect who finds a universal remote that allows him to fast-forward and rewind to different parts of his life. Sounds like fun! Sign up with the secretaries.

Next we have a lecture given by our very own resident Jock, Sean. However, he won’t be talking about Scotland, but about Japan. He will have “stories and photos aplenty”, drawing on his time there to entertain and inform. It’s on Friday April 20th, at 5.30pm. See the secretaries to sign up!

Finally it’s Marcin’s turn with Music Club. It’s at the usual venue, the London Pub, on Saturday April 21st at 8pm. This month however, he’s giving you a choice. You can choose from a number of acts, which are as follows: Rob Dylan, Dead Hot Chili Peppers, The Beatless, The Rolling Bones, Bobby Williams, Elvis Freshley or, as Marcin puts it, “oh no, not him again”. Do you see the play on words? Genius eh? Sign up with the secretaries with your choice of group/artist.

THE TEN WORST MOVIES EVER MADE

In honour of Chris’ upcoming Film Club, I turned to the IMDb to find their list of the ten worst movies ever. Look it up at

www.imdb.com/chart/bottom.

10. Car 54, Where Are You? (1994)
This is about two police officers partnered together, one bold and the other strict, who have to protect a Mafia witness while deal with everyday life…

9. SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)
A group of toddlers have to stop a media mogul from breaking the code to understanding baby-speak. Sounds awful eh?

8. From Justin To Kelly (2003)
Two rather miserable people meet and fall in love. Stars Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini, the winner and runner-up of the American Idol singing contest.

7. Going Overboard (1989)
Adam Sandler is a struggling comedian who takes a rubbish job on a cruise ship where he hopes to make it big in the world of cruise-ship comedy.

6. Snowboard Academy (1996)
This film stars Corey Haim, who was a big star in the later 1980s with films like The Lost Boys. However, since that film, he hasn’t been any good.

5. Bottoms Up (2006)
A Midwestern American bartender integrates himself into the Hollywood lifestyle, finding love along the way. It has Paris Hilton in it. Says it all really…

4. The Hillz (2004)
A promising college athlete takes a turn for the worse when he hooks up with old highschool friends during his summer break. Again, it has Paris Hilton in it…

3. Dunyayi Kurtaran Adamin Oglu (2006)
This is a Turkish film that translates as “Turks In Space”. I find it very hard to believe that this film could be any good.

2. Anne B. Real (2003)
An American coming-of-age drama where a female rappers finds her inspiriation by reading the diaries of Anne Frank. Sounds very clichéd.

And the current worst film is….

1. Crossover (2006)
A naturally-talented basketball player dreams of becoming a doctor and escaping “the hood”. Things go horribly wrong on a trip into L.A. Oops.

See you next time!

Sunday was April Fools’ Day and I joined the millions of people worldwide in being the victim of some practical joke. One of the best practical jokes ever to have been performed on a lot of people was this:

In 1962 there was only one TV channel in Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert, Kjell Stensson, appeared on the news to announce that thanks to a newly developed technology, all viewers could now quickly and easily convert their existing sets to display colour reception. All they had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their TV screen, and they would begin to see their favourite shows in colour. Stensson then proceeded to demonstrate the process. Reportedly, hundreds of thousands of people, out of the population of seven million, were taken in (they believed it). Actual colour TV transmission only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970.


“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.“

Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of USA (1809 - 1865)

What’s happening this week?

You will be glad to hear that oral assessments will finish soon – no more being dragged kicking and screaming out of your lessons by your mentors. Hooray!

Brian and Sean will be your hosts on Wednesday @ 7:30pm for Advanced Conversation Club. The usual deal applies if you want to go - get your name down in the secretaries’ office.

The Easter bunny has its origin in pre-Christian fertility lore. The Hare and the Rabbit were the most fertile animals known and they served as symbols of the new life during the Spring season. The bunny as an Easter symbol seems to have it's origins in Germany, where it was first mentioned in German writings in the 1500s. The first edible Easter bunnies were made in Germany during the early 1800s and were made of pastry and sugar. The Easter bunny was introduced to American folklore by the German settlers who arrived in the Pennsylvania Dutch country during the 1700s. The arrival of the "Oschter Haws" (Easter bunnies) was considered "childhood's greatest pleasure" next to a visit from Christ-Kindel on Christmas Eve. The children believed that if they were good the "Oschter Haws" would lay a nest of coloured eggs.

Easter jokes

What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!

What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?
Join the Hare Force.

Why are people always tired in April?
Because they've just finished a March.

Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.

What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A receding hareline.


Have a good Easter and see you next week!