SPEEDO NEWSLETTER
9th – 15th October, 2006.



This week’s edition by: David

OK people, it’s another week and another Callan newsletter. There’s not going to be a great deal in this one, due to the new school year only just starting and everybody running around like headless chickens. Just your average news, reviews and a little something to keep you busy during those long hours in class.

EVENTS THIS WEEK

KIDS CLUB
Wednesday October 11th, 5.30pm

Join Tanya for fun and games! Obviously this is for KIDS, so no 30-year olds wanting to play… Sign up at the secretaries’ office if you want to take part.

MUSIC CLUB
Saturday October 14th, 8pm.
Once again, your chance to see a great one-man band! His name is Jeff, he’s American and I’ve heard he’s rather good. The gig is at the London Pub, Plac Piastów. See the secretaries to sign up, or see Marcin for more information.

LECTURE – AUSTRALIAN RULES FOOTBALL (AFL)
Friday October 13th, 5.30pm
Ever wanted to know more about this strange and violent sport? Then come to a lecture given by our resident Aussie, Kel. Nobody else really knows what AFL is about, so this is the man to answer all your questions. Again, see the secretaries to sign-up.


Well, that’s all for this week. Next week it’s Daniel, so enjoy. As the weeks go by we’ll introduce new and fun features, so keep reading!

We’ll leave you with a little time-filler for the lessons – just don’t let the teachers catch you!

Things to do when you’re bored in a Callan Lesson

1. Push your eyes for interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) - See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out things (perhaps your subconscious is trying to send you a message).

2. See how long you can hold your breath

(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes) - Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Try to beat your own personal best time.

3. Scratch yourself

(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) - Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel good?

4. Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning

(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) - Pick a random word out of a dictation and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.

5. Hurt yourself

(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) - What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, it begins to make a picture.

6. Try to swallow your tongue

(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) - There's not much to say about this one. It is possible.

7. Pretend to be a car

(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) - Make appropriate revving noises in your head and add a racing commentary. Use blinking eyes as turning indicators for extra authenticity.